It is done!

This is a little belated cause I was busy from Friday all the way to yesterday. It was a long weekend in Penang and the boyfriend is around so I need to nua on the bed with him. Hey, it is very taxing ok?

So....the title of this post shows that....we have finally confirmed the booking for our new house. It will only be done in 2017 but I am so happy!!! Like FINALLY! No more house hunting and going round and round. No more looking at not so nice houses and just resorted to my fate of not having a dream house. No more going to some neighbourhood and sighing cause I really don't like the neighbourhood.

Thank You God for this gift. Thank You that we stumbled upon this roadshow in QB. Thank You that the price is within our range and thank You that the house we saw after that was horrible and expensive which make the decision to get this one so much faster.

So from now to 2017, it is about working hard, saving money and dreaming for our dream home.

The day has come

Two more days until we can see the house that we've been wanting to see.

I am excited for sure although I try to calm myself down. It has been a long search and we've been to so many houses, the initial excitement to see houses has long gone. But now that this might be IT, the feeling is back. And this will be so much more than I ever ever ever dream or even thought of.

So whatever that is given to me, I will take it, treasure it and appreciate it. Also, gonna start working again soon so good time is here. God will give me all that I need and all that I want in time to come. There will be many opened doors and many closed doors and I will just call on to God and cling on Him to lead me to the right door, the door that He intended for me.

Looking for new home

Home

As I've been saying, the boyfriend and I have been looking for a house for our future family. Now we have narrowed down to one project that will only be done end of 2017. So that gives us plenty of time to prepare but we have yet to seal the deal.

Domain

And with that in mind, we are also looking for a new domain to finally start our family blog as I feel that I have outgrown this blog, together with all my history. I would love to start a blog where I focus on being a grown-up and blogging about things I don't even care for when I was younger. This blog will remain here together with www.ahbu74.blogspot.com cause I grew up with those.

But then again, I think it is about time that I have one that will grow old with me. So I have been reading up on "How to Choose a Domain".

Nothing is set yet cause I want to spend time to really scout for one I will really like and will really grow old with, just like how I scout for our future home.

 Changes

Lots of changes, lots of new things happening but all things will be good, in God's time. I used to say all these things are uncertainties. I hate uncertainties. Uncertainties scare me. Uncertainties make me feel uneasy.

However, as a child of God, nothing is uncertain, everything is already fixed by God. So why do I have to feel insecure and afraid of uncertainties? I may not know what will happen along the way but I do know that the final goal is fixed and my final goal is with Jesus Christ, whatever it may be, whenever it may be.


So, changes will happen. And I will embrace them.

Interview?

Basically sent in my resume yesterday

Got a call today to go for 

Interview tomorrow!

Mad things happened in 3 days.

And I was like "Aiya, all my friends got the job already,

I am sure they have filled up all the positions.

But it's okay, I'm gonna send in my resume just in case they need people in the future."

And got 4-5 missed calls this morning!

I was driving so I didn't hear it ringing AT ALL.

Checked my phone once I got out of the car and 

ta-daaaaa so many missed calls

Called back and got greeted with the automatic call-operator.

Called back and asked for a few people and in the end got to the person who called me.

Tomorrow interview.

"God, You quite amazing hor?

I'm gonna believe this is from You cause I really gave up hope already.

But you gave me this. I was thinking, what else am I good at? 

I am relatively okay in teaching and I would love to try other things but for now, 

whenever I go to jobstreet, I will reluctantly scroll back to teaching cause that's what I know. 

And when I was typing the cover letter, I found back the reason why I wanted to teach in the first place. Whatever it is, I surrender it to You. You are so amazing You can do anything la!"

So off to prepare for my interview tomorrow.

 

Staying Positive

Taken last Sunday in the car in SP. Beautiful clouds. Came back to Penang after that to haze and rain.

At times like this, it's difficult to stay positive.

Especially when your close ones are not helping.

Lots of self-hating, self-loathing, frustration and anger.

And then I am reminded of what I told my students in Sunday School.

"Is our God BIG?"

"YES!"

"Is our God GREAT?"

"YES!"

"Is there anything our God can't do?"

"NO!"

"Can God help us with our problems?"
"YES!"

"What must we do when we face problems or difficulties?"

"PRAY! TALK TO GOD!"

Yet here I am, trying to do all things MYSELF, relying on my own human strength.

Of course God works in wonderful ways, ways we never imagine or even thought of.

He may not work the way we expect Him to work but His plans never to destroy us.

I can only do so much myself, but with Him, I know He will bring me to where He wants me to be.

Need to stop being a hypocrite. Telling my kids how wonderful God is and yet I myself struggle to understand this simple thing that God wants us to do.

Our God is a GREAT, BIG GOD who created all things wonderful. Just look at the clouds!

He who can create all wonderful and powerful things can help me.

And He who creates the sharks, the crocodiles, the beautiful clouds, sunset, sunrise,

all types of fish, birds, animals, the sea and the land, the ENTIRE UNIVERSE from NOTHING

is willing to walk alongside with me, guiding me. 

God who is willing to go BEFORE me and bring me with Him will never fail me.


ps: A good and very comforting article
http://www.relevantmagazine.com/life/5-lies-every-twentysomething-needs-stop-believing

Refueling

with word of God. Woke up at 8am today (and intend to do so from now on) to spend time with God and then do my work. It's true that those who work from home need 3-4 times more discipline than those who work in an office.

Listening to kids worship songs while doing my work. Not a bad thing to do. ^^ A little sleepy but decided not to take a nap since my lunch break was slightly longer (with television and short rest on the bed slotted in).

So now back to preparing for my class so that I can clear off the rest of the time for demo.

Felt more energized after reading the word of God. I need this refueling. Been letting myself wander in the desert without looking for God or too "busy" for God for wayyy too long. Time to get back to the one who gives me Living Water, unceasingly.

ps: These simple yet innocent worship songs refreshes me. I've got the love of Jesus in my heart. And I'm so happy!

TRUST in HIM

More and more people are beginning to know about Thermomix and more and more people I know seems to own one too. Previously, when I found out my friends' mum got it from someone else, I was a little crushed. Cause my friends (close ones) know I am doing Thermomix so to know that their mother bought from others is a little disappointing. Then I realised there is no point being sad about it. So I started to look at the other side of the coin. At least now more people know about it and perhaps those who were not convinced earlier will now be.

So I've been doing demos with Pao and the response has been encouraging. I've decided to TRUST the Lord to do miracles. I do my demo, I do my part and let God do the rest. Whether they purchase or not, it doesn't matter. Cause I've done my part and maybe one day they will. I am doing Thermomix full time now as I am sure it can give me the flexibility and the income I need for my family. So I pray to God and ask him to reveal if this is what He wants me to do. The flexi hours really will give me time to do other stuff other people who are doing full time job can't. I really hope this is His plan cause I am liking this plan. But if it is not, then He must have better for me.

I am still pursuing this now. I will continue to pray for Him to reveal to me.

So while waiting, more demos?

Running around in a circle

And sometimes I don't know what I am busy with also. It felt like I've been busy since I left for Bali and have never stopped running around.

my 25th birthday passed by just like that and I'm one year older. And then convocation, and then a few days of resting and I started running again between my jobs, my tuitions, Sunday school and church activity. I didn't even have enough time to slow down and breathe. Maybe this is what Ps Sam in Daniel's church said by a distraction more than an open door.

Slowly taking off some weight from my shoulder, letting go and let others handle it. Cannot allow myself to be caught up with so many things, I feel so tired in church and I can't concentrate in my walk with God. And that is VERY important looking at my relationship with Him now.

Worst is that people think that I am pretty free and has nothing to do but I have a lot in my plate and they keep piling them up on me. I know you are busy, but guess what? So am I!

Will blog with pictures once I have more time in hand (which I will ended up using to read some books -.- sorry)

Redbull

Paid RM2.60 for it to keep me awake throughout the night. In the end, Redbull sat on my table from 10.30pm to 5.30am cause I went to bed at 10.30pm. Wasted my money. But nevermind, decided to take it when I woke up at 5.30am to do work cause I'm still mad tired.

Walao, don't know how people can drink it. I mean it taste nice, but it gives me this headache like the one I got after drinking a whole cup of over-sweetened lychee at floating market in Hatyai. I think it's the sugar. Too much that it makes me feel sick. Once I'm done with this whole presentation thing, I'm gonna blog about Hatyai, every bit of it!!!

Just let me get over with this presentation okay? Lots of things to do and so little time!!!!! Thank God for awesome supervisor though. Helped A LOT! I know it's God's blessing. He knew what is best for me and prepared this path for me to get to know this lecturer better and work under her. And because He has helped me in this, I have faith that He will pull me through. Just gotta finish up my part, present and let Him take over! Now, let me continue with my work so that I can nap at 10 or 11 later.

Obstacles

Truly, our faith is tested when we are holding the end of the rope. Either we cling onto the rope that promise us life or we let go and try to grab something else that we think may help us to stay alive.

It has been a challenging, nerve-wrecking three days beginning from the day my lecturer asked me to find another supervisor, doing a total different topic area which means a new topic altogether which I did not prepare.

So I had read everything from scratch and try to get a new idea, a new topic to propose to my lecturer, hoping that she says my topic is do-able and accept to supervise me. All these, by Tuesday. Been feeling lost, praying to God for guidance, knowing that He has the best topic, best plan for me. At the same time, struggling to see this in the reality, with burdens on my shoulder and time ticking away. It is not easy, it definitely is not. It may seem easy to say and sing this song

"When the ocean rise and thunders roar,
I will soar with you, above the storm,"

It has been easy to sing this and it's also a very nice song that I like a lot. But when troubles come and when everything else around us seems bleak, it takes a lot of courage and faith to trust God and to soar with him above the storm. But I will persevere for God promised me again and again in the bible that He will not leave nor forsake me. That His plans for me is for hope, not disaster. So with that promise, I claim it and I will continue to fight. It's week 1! I have faith in my God. He put me here for a reason and He will not leave me to handle this alone.

Jeremiah 29:11 For I know the plans I have for you," declares the Lord, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and future.

Deuteronomy 31:8 The Lord himself goes before you and will be with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged

I need peace

I have been thinking of my future lately. I know God has His plans for me but I somehow will start thinking of what I want to be and then I get all stressed up. Since I am doing my Masters now, people are expecting me to venture into the teaching line, hopefully in USM. But I am not sure if that's my passion.

I have tried business twice, once selling clothes with my sister and then I started my own accessories online shop on my own (read: Little Poupee). I am not sure what I am doing wrong but it's not going as well as I've expected even though my things are wayyy cheaper than most of the shops online and I even sell the same stuff as some of them.

Then I have another business idea, and then another. Business is all I think of but I am too afraid to venture into anything, especially since I have no capital. I have no peace and I know I am taking too much control when God knows best. I need peace to continue my Masters and get it over with. Then I can sit down and think through properly. But then again, opportunities might slip away, yet again. God, lead me and guide me. Show me Your way.


wise words from the eldest sister:-
Get a job first. Work and gain experience. When you have the capital, you can start your business. Your business will be successful if your plan is good.

2nd sis:-
Get a supplier first and don't just worry for nothing.

(The 2nd sis called me upon my 'desperate' message and I talked to her while I rolled on the bed. That's how I roll. =P)

This verse comforts me. Saw it in a friend's blog (read: Sarah). It was also the verse during my 2nd time being a Crew Leader in VBS that stuck in my head for years now.

[Jeremiah 29:11] "I have it all planned out, says the Lord. Plans to take care of you, not abandon you, plans to give you the future you hope for"

Thank You Lord!

Tuesday ramblings

Was browsing the sheets of songs that was given to me to prepare for worship leading with the kids this coming Sunday. I have always have soft spots for worship songs in Malay language because I believe that kids nowadays especially the kids in my Sunday school are not exposed enough to Malay language. Coming from a national school and mixing with my fellow Malay friends, I hold strongly in me that kids should be given a chance to mingle with our majority neighbours and know them for who they are and not based on their religion/race. At the end of the day, it is always problem with individuals, regardless of their religion or race and I want to expose my students to Malay language and not just treat it as just another language they cannot seem to master.

Besides, all these worship songs brings back beautiful memories like those I carved in Camp Cameron 2010 and NC 2011. The only time I sing a lot of Malay language worship songs were when I was in those two camps and PKA events.

Satu Suara

Lyrics

VERSE

Bapa kami pinta dari mu

Pulihkan Negara ku

Satukan umat mu di Negara ku Malaysia

Agar kemuliaan Mu terpancar dari kami

Supaya dunia melihat kami satu di dalam Engkau

CHORUS

Satukan kami dalam kasih Yesus

Satukan kami dalam kemuliaan mu

Pulihkan geraja ku agar perubahan

Terjadi sekarang ini di Malaysia

VERSE

Sekaranglah waktunya untuk kau and aku bersatu

Untuk pemulihan Negara kita Malaysia

Supaya dunia tahu gereja Mu bersatu

Satu di dalam kasih Kristus

Satu di dalam Engkau

BRIDGE

Sempurnalah sukacita di dalam kami

Sehati sefikir sekata seia

Dalam kasih Kristus

Beautiful song. When I sang it in NC 2011, I had passion for Malaysia, I sang it with heart knowing that Malaysia is my earthly home and God will work wonders in Malaysia. Singing it now in 2012 in my room, I still hold on and claim that promise.

Bapa yang Kekal

Kasih yang sempurna
Telah kut’rima dariMu
Bukan kar’na kebaikanku
Hanya oleh kasih karuniaMu
Kau pulihkan aku, layakkanku
Tuk dapat memanggilMu, Bapa

Reff:
Kau b’ri yang kupinta
Saat kumencari kumendapatkan
Kuketuk pintuMu dan Kau bukakan
S’bab Kau Bapaku, Bapa yang kekal

Tak kan Kau biarkan
Aku melangkah hanya sendirian
Kau selalu ada bagiku
S’bab Kau bapaku
Bapa yang kekal.

This song reminds me of my encounter with God in Camp Cam.. Love this song ever since. Haven't been singing this for a longgg time.
 

Interviewed and hired

Now it's up to me to try out the classes and decide if I'm willing to sign one year of my life for it.

=) Thank God for such a smooth sailing interview and also for the favour to be upon me since there's another girl waiting to be interviewed after me.

Both interviews I went, I was hired but the first one wasn't what I expected it to be. And never judge a book by its cover cause the second one seems easy (from the website) but when I went for the interview, it was more tricky.

May this be a stepping stone for me to know the business better. The teaching business. Another chapter of my life slowly opening up.

God does provide. =)

The Valentine's Day

It's my first and probably the best ever!!!

The boyfriend did this. Lantern all over, handmade flowers. I'm loved.

 Whee lanterns.

 More lanterns before the candle finished or they started to burn off.

 Some successful shots with the lanterns though it was dark.

 This is when the lanterns started to burn off and there's no flash.

 Then with flash.

 My cute boy.

 Poor boy, have to clean up after that some more. Hard at work.

 Handmade flowers. <3

I am poser.

So this is what he did. He fetched me from Fajar since I thought he had cg till late and I was half-drenched from the rain earlier. So he drove like mad without stepping on the brake. I was shocked and I didn't know where we were going. Then he led me to some place which I don't know but it was scary with wet grasses. Then I saw that, that little place all lit up with these lanterns and I melted. I am loved, well-loved. =) And I am happy.

That boy has been running around all night trying to pull that together and it was raining but it stopped and he made it. He has to be the sweetest guy I've ever met and he's mine.
And nah, tonnes of useless photos of me just because I like it. Can't wait to go camwhore at some beautiful place with that flowers he made. Flowers that wil not wither.

Entered 2011

with Daniel right beside me. We went for EPCC Watchnight service which was the first New Year's eve service I've ever been because when I was younger, I would be out in the crowd like the rest, celebrating it and then I grew older and I just stay at home, do nothing and sleep early. This year, I decided to receive the new year in the house of our Lord.

Had awesome time, laughed, played, ate, sang worship to Him, gave my promise to God and prayed to Him. It was a great time. I decided that this year, I want to start my new year being in His presence and welcome the new year with Him with me knowing that He will be close to me throughout the year.

I looked through my resolution in 2010 and I can proudly say, I did okay. =) 6 out of 10 is not bad right? This year, I shall not make any more resolution. (also cause I can't think of any) But I believe God has His plans for me and He will reveal it one by one. So I'll just wait upon the Lord.

I learnt something yesterday. That I should not focus on the circumstances, or the people in the world when something doesn't go my way or when I have doubts. Instead, focus on God, on our Lord Jesus because He knows best. Our human eyes may not see and our human brains may not comprehend but knowing that He is in charge will help us to surrender all to Him and know that He will make something good out of nothing.

Have an awesome New Year and 2011 will be another exciting year. =)

Another sem gone by

This has to be  the most interesting one throughout my 3 years of uni and it ends so quickly.

First time I finish my exam in the first week with only two papers to battle my life for. People are giving me the i-kill-u look but, but, but...I suffered 2 years already, doesn't that count for anything at all? =P

I've been shaking legs and running around for the past week. Time to slow down my life for a few days before running around again chasing kids in VBS. I find life so fulfilling when I can do things for God, share His love with people around me.

Did a personality test and boy was it accurate. I'm both crazy and emo. SO TRUE. I'm not lazy though, what a relief. =P

Life is getting more and more exciting and the boy has met the parents and close friends and was accepted. Also cause they love me la. And he was a great boy to begin with. Meeting his family later and I'm really not a very good girl so it's going to be tough. =) But he is there to assure me that it'll be ok. <3 No fear.

I iz dark chocolate

Holiday was fun! I did my work the first week and play like mad the second. Seriously, one whole week of going out, having fun to the point, I feel tired =P

I gave my friend my hard disk so I can't post pictures. Pictures will be added later.

I went Redbox with friends, had apartment stay like good ol' days, took 1000 pictures, had 3 steamboats in 6 days, then had our much-craving-for mango crepe, went for a swim at 11.30am-damn stupid I know keke, went out with someone for the whole day and had fun, went Hat Yai and shop to my heart's content. Life is good. =) Met Diana TWICE in Hat Yai, super got jodoh can kahwin already if she's a guy. =P

Came back, settled some more work, by next Monday I should be sending in most of my work and starting to relax a little. Still have a few that's due end of October so I have time to get my work done. So fast, I'm finishing my 3rd year first sem. Crazy isn't it? But it has been a wonderful roller coaster ride. Many unexpected things happened and I'm glad it happened.

Got darker and darker. Now I'm no longer white chocolate + milky chocolate. I'm more like dark chocolate. All thanks to the walking in uni, taking insanely lots of pictures on the beach, swimming at 11.30am, I KNOW, what was I thinking? So now, I iz orh kia, mummy say one.


It's true that we plan but God decides. He knows what He wants in our lives and we live each day, surrendering everything to Him cause He knows best. And God, if this is Your plan, i like. =P

Uni is great, few more weeks to finishing this semester and I'm a bit reluctant for it to end so quickly. Time flies when you are happy...or maybe when you are busy =)

Are you sure?

It's happening again. I unconciously leaning on another wall, a man-made wall. Not very wise? I think so too.

Need to go back to the real wall who'll not crumble on me. Who knows exactly how to build me up and knows exactly what He wants me to be. A wall who is SURE of what He is doing and not just leading me around the bush.

Holiday has been...slow. I mean the time passes fast, work progress slow. And I have my WHOLE next week fully booked. So really, I don't know if I can finish my work. Doing bits by bits but tonight I have to finish something and I got it...50% done.

Tomorrow more work to settle. All my 'plans' are re-arranged so that I can finish more work in a day. Cross fingers that everything works well. I really want to hang out next week. *kill all lazy bugs*

Anyways, got my sis to cut my hair two days ago. When she was done, she said, uh-oh. Scare the crap out of me. Ok la, not too bad la. I was traumatized earlier okay?

With specs

And without

******************
Not a very safe thing to be let roaming on the street. Almost got sister killed because I did not see the car reversing beside me and just zoomed past. Thank God I'm okay. Must remember to pray before I drive next time.

God of my dry bones

There are times I felt that I'm so wounded, so scarred, it's impossible to be healed again.

And God is telling me again and again, nothing is impossible for Him.

I told myself it's impossible for me to tear down my wall, just to let people trample all over me, take advantage of me and then leave me to clear the mess.

It has happened for way too many times, one can't help but to think, aiya, impossible one la.

Whack my head for thinking that. =) God will heal. God knows our pains, He knows. Someone once told me, Ping, stop running away. Stop living in denial. Stop making yourself believe that you are okay when you are not.

I guess today is one of those days, I really am tired of running away, of hiding myself, of telling myself it's impossible. It's one of those days I believe that God can heal me. That He can bring back life to my dry bones, even when people have suck out every single living cells in it.

Camp Cam

I've been lazy and unmotivated to blog for the longest time ever. Look at my archive and you'll see. 9 post in April, 1 in May and 1 in June so far. I used to post several post a day or every other day but now, I'm so lazy to even open my own blog. It has been a very fruitful month I would say.

Camp Cam was awesome but I still do not have time to talk about it. I would love to talk about work but I've decided not to because it's not a good take and I don't want to whine no more.

(Let me rant a lil. Work politic is complicated. Talk less, care less and work more. Do your part and don't expect too much.)

I'm missing my Chalet 8 family. Yesterday, when I was listening to the song 'Mujizat itu nyata' and 'Bapa Yang Kekal' again and again, I got brought back to Camp Cam, to the things we learn.

That day, I learn about Him and about myself in a whole new perspective, a whole new way, a whole new angle.

I miss our random-ness. Love the cool shots we took. <3

Each time I see playground and swings, I think of you all. T_T

ps: Apasal Thurston hide?

Miss our gramps

I thought it's quite nonsense to miss people you only got to know for 3 weeks. Miss also a bit only la I used to think. I used to find it funny that my CF-mates call each other mama and all since we are all around the same age. I was wrong, very wrong. I miss all of you and I think I'm used to calling Mama too!!!

Looked through my journal. Lots of things came flashing back. :) And I'm glad.

Till next happier update,

Ping Ping