Mirror Image

I was in Gurney today and I found out Lin You Jia (Yoga) was coming to Gurney. There was a small crowd in front of the stage (trust me, I've seen bigger crowd for other I thought not-so-famous singers.)

Anyway, I continue with my stuff and sneaked out to catch a glimpse of that Taiwanese singer. I stood there, staring at a bunch of girls lining up to get his autograph. Suddenly, a rush of familiarity hits me hard.

I was one of those girls. One of those girls who will line up, holding a newly bought original album, waiting impatiently to get on the stage and see the artiste. I was one of those girls who will be there half an hour (one hour actually because artiste are always late for half an hour at least) before the singer is scheduled to come, making sure I get to stand in front.

I was one of those girls who will wear the fan club shirt waiting for the singer. I knew people who would insist to be the last to go up the stage. People might not understand, why last? Well, if you can't be first, you be the last. Apparently they can get to see the artiste longer as the workers will not shoo you off the stage so fast since you are the last one.

If you are the first few, you might even get to take a picture with him and be in the newspaper.

I was one of those girls who will follow the artiste till they get to their car. I was one of those girls who knows the people in the crowd since we are in the same fans club. And I was one of those girls, holding my camera and clicking nonstop.

I was one of those girls, but I've grown out of it. *smiles* I did not even bother to take out my phone to capture his picture. I stood there, look at the crowd, smiled, and walked away. I'm no longer one of those girls. (Different story if he is Lin Yu Zhong /screams.)

I really don't know how to enjoy uni life

After 6 months, I still have the same thought. I mean I still don't understand why people say uni is the best time of our lives. I admit the friends we have here, the fellowship, the closeness, it's nice. But if this is the best time of my life, I dare not see what happens after I grad.

I mean there's so many work to do every single day. I'll be rushing for something I don't even understand, every week, rushing for assignment to finish, rushing for classes. This is bad. T___T I don't want my uni life to pass by just like that but sometimes, I cannot help it. Take for example, this week, I've not met up with my friends (except Wed when I went out with my CG friends) for dinner because I rather stay in room to finish up my work and whatnots.

I'll try to enjoy but for now, with so many work in front of me, I cannot make myself to enjoy the busyness.

Miss!!!!! No matter how many friends (ok la, quite little) I have in uni, you girls are still the best /shy.

Now come back and un-nerdify me.

Miss x2. Long time no meet up and hang out d la...

ps: Uni friends also best ok? /scaredkenawhack.

I see rain

Finally!!!!! Please rain the whole night. I don't mind eating bee hoon soup in my room, just rain!!!!

Lots of work, suffocating me, but I'll be okay. I think. I've got one more coming in, PRESENTATION. Nice name I got there, first group kena me already. Nevermind, at least that means I get over with it faster and got more time to do other things.

CNY plan - Do more homework. Finish more work so that I don't have to rush like mad when I'm back. Hopefully can finish translating all the text and writing the analysis. And basically just spend my CNY doing more work for a more relaxing other half of semester.

Back to work.

Recycled picture from my study break last semester. Just so you know, I'm busy. =P

Definitely not lazy

The truth is, I did not blog not because I was lazy or because I got nothing to blog but because uni work + socializing (albeit very little) has taken up most of my time the past week that I did not really have time to think about my blog or type something.

I was busy typing for my assignments and occasional chatting with friends that typing a blog post did not appeal to me much. And the cycle will repeat until end of this semester. Why is it that semester 2 is always so crazily busy that I'll be pushing myself to my limit and it often ends with tears until I smack myself crazy for being so upset that I'm so busy. I always ALWAYS always felt like a failure in semester 2. For not able to feel satisfied with myself after finishing something.

There's no time for me to pat myself on the back and say "Good job Ping." It's just "Woi, finish assignment 1 then faster prepare for assignment 2 la, waiting for what? For gold to drop from the sky ar?" Yea, that kinda suck. But I'll be ok. By God's grace, everything will be fine. I knew it, cause it happens so many times that I knew everything will be ok. (But it's ok to be lost a while and drop a tear or two (or a bucket).

Can't wait for CNY because guess who will be back?

Not only these 10 girls (June and Joel, sendiri imagine ok? Who ask you two to not go to Melaka?), I hope I can meet up with Bentengz too!! Fingers cross. =)

<3

Until they are back, I will have to use pictures from the previous holidays and semester break because that's how long since I last took a picture or even bother to dress up to take a picture. Can't wait for our CNY reunion.

Loves, Ping.

Emo-ness is contagious

=( I was not that emotionally affected since I did not know any of the boys who were involved in the dragon boat incident. And since I am so cut out of the life outside (because I don't usually read newspapers or watch news), it was just okay, someone died, it's sad but...not that high impact on me.

Then I had to go and read what others write and now I am emo. Emo-ness is contagious.

Life is so fragile and it's the Big guy up there who knows why all these are happening and we will never be able to comprehend all these with our tiny human minds. The most we can do is live each day with no regrets.

And to live each day with no regrets,
a. I have to stop worrying about my assignments (which is not gonna happen anytime soon because  I am a worry-freak)
b. Spend more time with love ones (which is hard because of a.)
c. Do the things I like to do (including b. but it's hard because of a.)

=( But there's one tiny little thing I can do. I love you all, my friends, my family, people who walked into my life and left footprints, whether you like me or not, I appreciate all of you. *hugs*

*covers face with pillow*

I think I saw Charlie

and I'm not happy. Saw it last Friday when I was about to leave my hostel to go home.

It was crawling at my door so I took a piece of card and invited it away.

Then I think I spotted it crawling under my cupboard and hiding there. Let's just hope they are not having any meeting under my cupboard.

Imagine the terror if one day they kopek my cupboard and saw a colony of Charlie-s under it. That'll be gross.

Anyway, I'll just have to pray that Charlie doesn't visit me in my bed when I'm asleep, trying to stare at me sleeping in such a close range that I will smack it with my hands and cause burns.

And pray that I won't touch my face after having the burns (if I ever get another one again but I hope not) thus burning my face too. =( That'll be sad.

*************
There are times when I find myself reminiscing the past. And I don't even bother to stop myself. sigh.

I don't know what is wrong with me. Must be the time of the month where I keep feeling sleepy and in need for more sleep. When it's time to sleep and I'm still awake, there's this empty space in me.

The void in my heart that I just wish to fill with anything at all although deep inside I know it's never empty. It's filled with love for family, for friends, for Him.

Maybe, just maybe. Nah~ Just the time of the month /brush away thoughts. Nights world.

You know it's home when

you wake up seeing your family walking in and out of your room. -.-" ok, maybe just mine.

you open that special cupboard and find comfort food. ok, maybe just mine also.

you get to watch Astro while blogging. /love

you just refuse to get out from your bed. *roll about*


Enjoying myself at home before I have to go back to hot, sad USM hostel tomorrow night. But at least I got friends. /comforts.

I don't know about you but I love my family. =)

Lecturers on Facebook

stress me much.

My Spanish sir is always on facebook so I need to remind myself to be careful of what I post on my status. Else he'll be talking about it in class. T__T wtcrap?! He asked if I am someone who is easily stressed and I say sometimes, then he say ya, he knows. I've said so online. The last time was when I was complaining about my recording assignment.

Must.be.careful.with.what.I.write.

Oh and there's super a lot of mosquitoes in my room that it seems to be more THEIR room than mine. wtcrap. Serious. Biting me like nobody's business, having a feast on my blood and all. Nonsense la, I need that electric thing to zap them all DEAD. Die you die!!!!!!!

*scratch scratch scratch*

It's amazing

how someone seemed to be so important in your life, seemed to be your all and suddenly, that person is out of your life, a nobody.

It's amazing how time heals wound but leaves scar that when we touch it, we are transported back to those days, minus the pain.

It's amazing how we know scars won't hurt as we've recovered from it but when we touch it at times, our heart aches. Our brain tell us that it could hurt despite knowing real well that these scars have healed, 100%, fully.

The power of mind over our real receptors. The power of what-ifs and maybe-s. The power of I-thought.

It's amazing how we spent so much time on one person and when we stopped spending time on that person, it feels as though we've wasted our time on something which probably will be worthless as time passed.

And above all, we know perfectly well that it's not worth it but we still can't help but look back once in a while, to see how far we've gone away from it, still trying to catch a glimpse of it. Half hoping we can still see it but also wishing that we won't lest we cut ourselves again.

There's always this downtime like how websites have theirs. I'm just experiencing mine now.

Staring blankly into space. Sometimes, it helps to clear your mind a little.

I'll be the ol' chirpy Ping in no time. =) Was reading past post and felt a little emo.

8th January, 1:41a.m.

Mark this day down because for the very few times in my life, I shall not live in denial and admit that I am talkative, I talk too much and I annoy some people sometimes. Especially those who don't like people who talk as much.

I'm born to talk I believe. I talked too much since kindergarten and they say, when you start that young, it's pretty hard to turn back. I used to have coarse voice in the evening, apparently because I talk too much during the day that I lost my voice in the evening.

But unfortunately, I am only good at talking nonsense, not serious matter. I get wobbly legs when I have to talk in front of the crowd. I'm more like a small group talk a lot kinda person. Ok, I talked since 6.30p.m to 1.00a.m. just now and I have tiring cheek muscles and aiya, whole face just feel painful la. I hope it's a sign that it's getting smaller.

Situations when I talk:-
- I'm with people I know and comfortable with.
- I'm hyper.
- I need attention. *waves*
- I'm sleep-talking.
- I'm curious or need to know something.
- I'm being cheeky.
- I just need to give my opinion and share my experience.
- I find something funny.
- I find something disturbing me.
- I'm bored.
- I feel like talking.
- I'm giving instruction. *even on photos*
- I'm just being crappy and all.

I even talk when I'm taking pictures. Sigh.

Times when I won't talk or not comfortable talking:-
- I'm sleepy.
- I'm lazy.
- People not layan-ing me.
- I'm angry
- I'm stressed up or has lots in my head.
- I'm sad/emo.
- I'm in front of a crowd and people are all looking at me. Small group also, when I notice people staring at me, I just shut up wtcrap.
- Presentations, in front of the class. So basically serious stuff is not my thing.
- I'm alone in my room wtcrap, I'm sane okay?
- I'm alone in my room with my roommate, she doesn't really like to talk- at least to me, CML (Crap My Life)
- I'm alone in a new place with no one I know and nobody is giving a shit about me CMLx2
- I got sore throat or don't have voice. wtcrap, I'm not THAT talkative la.
- I know that person hates me talking wtcrap CMLx10.
- I'm with people who really just HATE talking CMLx100.

So, yea, there are times when I don't talk. But mostly when I'm alone so it's pretty hard to see me with my mouth close and not talking. You people damn hard to please.

When I talk, say I talk too much. When I don't talk, all say scared of me, cause I usually am angry when I don't talk. wtcrap, all you all say can already la.

Want bubbly Ping or angry Ping? Ish.

You know you are too tired when

you washed your hair at 10 a.m. in the morning and at 3 p.m. you began to wonder if you put shampoo. And guess what? You washed your hair, but did not shampoo it.

Too much in my head. Too many things to do, too little time, but still coping. Need to get back on the track.

Shampooed my hair at night. First time in my life that I bathed and washed my hair but forgot to shampoo it.

Need some rest. Continue with the work tomorrow.

Missing those days when all that mattered was how to cut the donuts so that everyone gets equal share.

Stressed up

Basically what I have to do every single week is that I have to record my voice, reading a text in Malay and also a small part of Tuesdays With Morrie until I finish the entire book. And there're quizzes and forums to participate.

That, is for one subject only.

Then I will have to translate law text (usually 1 page-thank God) and some technical or non-technical text which are usually 5 pages long for two other lecturers. I have to analyze and review my work too. Then every alternate week, I will have to edit people's work.

And I have 6 novels to read for my minor and lots of tiny work to do for my Spanish. I am glad I dropped my English.

If I survive, I'll be a happy girl.

Off to record TWM and the Malay text for the nth time. T_T

*sulk*

What I did for the past few days?

Basically I countdown-ed in front of the television (even some old people are more happening than I), then I went to bed at about 1.30a.m. after watching the fireworks (in various places in Penang through my window and the ones in Taiwan and Hong Kong and Shen Zhen through Astro) and wishing some friends. Ok la, a lot.

Then I woke up the next day and went to Gurney Plaza (the mall which I went the next two days too T__T). Went for my first New Year lunch at Nando's, then got myself curly hair (which I hated) then went for movies-Avatar. I would say it's quite impressive but I got a little bit bored towards the end. Sorry la, I don't like the girl so chor lor la. HAHAHAH sound so....man.. =P

Bestnyer angle ni... =P

Pao bought some stuff like the hair curler thingie and BB cream which I get to use. <3 the fact that I am youngest and I got two elder sisters.

Saturday was the buka gerai day so I went to Gurney and buka gerai whole day. Saw Mel, Jess and Joanna. Got home and watched television while bermain-main, bergurau-gurau with my aunt until 2.30a.m.

Cannot wake up for church on Sunday. =x Sister woke me up at 10.15a.m. Rushed like mad to church. Then go buka gerai again. And now I'm back in USM. The journey starts tomorrow. Classes will start, assignments poured in last week, and I'll have packed time table. Let's pray I survive.

Looking all matured and scary. *proud*

3 days into 2010 and I'm so tired already. =(

Wishing everyone a splendid year ahead. =))

To those who think curly hair Ping Ping is a big mistake, don't worry, I thought so too. And it's temporary curls so it only lasted me 7 hours *thank God*. I'm back to the straight hair, cheeky and naughty Ping Ping again.