Lots of work. Lots of responsibilities. Lots of deadlines. Lots of pressure. Lots of energy drawn out.
Even I couldn't take it anymore.
Could be PMS, could be lil mood swings, could be stress, could be anything really. Maybe just emo season?
But I think I need a good cry. At least now, today. I will be okay tomorrow. I'm only emo in my room. In person, I'm usually quite chirpy and noisy and bubbly. Maybe that's why Grandma Eu Pui once told me 'It's okay to be not okay'. I've always wanted to show that I am okay because I hate people asking me why I am not okay. I don't like to appear weak. I want people to think that I can do fine even if I do it alone.
Maybe I do need to stop pretending. I do need to stop putting up a tough face. Like even the clouds are going to fall on me, I can still be okay.
If I am not okay in front of you, that's because I decided that I can be not okay in front of you and you are not going to judge me. I will really appreciate it if you don't ask me about this. =) I just need a space to vent out my emptiness.
Maybe I am not as okay as I pretend to be.
When I smile, maybe I was just trying to avoid questions.
ps: It might be workload. It's never fun to look at my to-do list.
The more you hope it won't happen, the higher chances it will.
That's how things work. You hope you won't bump into people in the pantry while washing your pot? Good, cause you'll end up bumping into 5. That's the most you've ever bumped into in 3 years of staying there.
All these while, you've showed me that you can make me feel beautiful, even on days I felt like crap.
You complement me. I don't know if I can find another that's as perfect as you. I loved you and when you decided to end this, I decided that you have your rights to choose what you want. I let you go.
They said that if it's true love, you'll only let go when you've done everything you can to keep it. The moment I laid my eyes on you that day, I knew, I've done my best but my best is just not good enough. The look in your eyes, I knew, there's no way it will be the same again. It'll never be the same.
You've changed. You've made your choice. I let you go. Even though deep down inside, I wished there's a second chance.
I loved you and I will treasure all the time we spent together.
That keeps my eyes from glaring sunlight.
And my face from being too big.
The moment I look into your eyes lense, I know it'll never be the same.
You made me felt cool, complete, you made me felt me.
Did a lot the previous holiday. - Attended camp - Worked for the first time - Went for planning retreat - Retracted application to Mexico - Translated law text- real one - Volunteered in Door of Hope - Volunteered for Heritage TreaShaw Hunt - Shopped - a lot - Camwhored- a lot too - Lost 3 kg and gained 2kg back T_T - Came back to uni - wrestled with timetable, classes, commitments, fun time.
Looks like it's gonna be a great final year. I'm beginning to miss USM. Each time I walk pass DK Foyer, I'm walking pass as a 3rd year. It felt like it was just yesterday when I walked through this place, looking lost and now I'm in my 3rd year? I will definitely miss USM when I leave. Gonna enjoy each moment I have here now. =)
Don't get me started on my baby lizard story or you people are gonna call me drama queen and chicken again. It was drama alright?
Was googling for islands in Malaysia to plan for our end year trip or graduation trip with the Emmoes when the UK ones come back after they finish their studies. I was happily browsing through until I saw...
O.O PULAU TIKUS INI PENANG ALSO KIRA ISLAND? It's market la sayang. I was cheated for years that Pulau Tikus is a fun holiday place so I know ok? Cartoon betul, got the word Pulau means island already la?
I was talking to my awesomest friend, Rou En on MSN about Paul the Octupus. I was telling her that they are so mean. Dahlah they themselves want to use him to predict the result, now that he got it right, they want to make him paella. And he has a name okay? How can they eat him?
Then I urged her to go google him up as I find him rather scary.
ch.ng.ping.ping: *yawn* says:
u go google and see a bit scary to me hehee
rouen says: so many things about him aiyo, famous than us
ch.ng.ping.ping: *yawn* says: hahahaha go google ur name see got or not u more famous u got uni, got hospital all hehhee...i tak famous langsung
rouen says: hahahha, i try that last time ya, i'm part of france n all but that's not the real me
ch.ng.ping.ping: *yawn* says: budak femes rouen says: you also famous, ping ping is the world's shortest man
ch.ng.ping.ping: *yawn* says: serious? T_T
rouen says: hahahaha, can't stop myself from laughing
ch.ng.ping.ping: *yawn* says: OF ALL THINGS i need to blog this 2 minutes hahahah
Lesson #1: Don't simply google your name because you might get a shocking discovery - which might not be always pleasant.
Lesson #2: Do not name your son Ping Ping. It's a freaking GIRL'S NAME! I don't care if I've met a few guys named Ping Ping. They got girlish name. *stubborn*
Lesson #3: There's no lesson #3. I'm too sad to even talk now /dramamodeON. How can Ping Ping be the world's shortest man? Short is bad enough. WORLD'S SHORTEST OKAY?