I'm sick of

being singled out and be blamed for everything.

Try it for yourself. Try to be singled out from everyone for things you didn't do although there are other people around who could have done it. Sometimes it's just a friendly hey, go do it, sometimes it's scolding.

It's not only the blame, but everything. I tried to surpress myself but maybe you'll only understand the day you are being treated like that. Perhaps you might think I'm being bad tempered or grumpy or naughty but really, trust me, I believe this is one of the feelings you'll only understand the day you got treated the same way.

And no, I don't need advices comment because I know what I'm doing and for now, I feel this is bothering me so let me be. Let me express it.

The Dash, My Dash

During Camp Cam, Grandma Annette shared this poem with us entitled-The Dash. The dash is the dash between the day we were born and the day we die on our tombstone. It is not merely just a small horizontal line but it's the line that matters. It's not the date we were born that matters or the day we die but how we live that little dash in our lives.

The Dash – Linda Ellis

I read of a man who stood to speak
At the funeral of a friend.
He referred to the dates on her tombstone
From the beginning..to the end.


He noted that first came her date of birth
And spoke the following date with tears, 1964-1994
But he said what mattered most of all
Was the dash between those years.


For that dash represents all the time
That she spent alive on earth..
And now only those who loved her
Know what that little line is worth.


For it matters not, how much we own;
The cars..the house..the cash,
What matters is how we live and love
And how we spend our dash.


So think about this long and hard.
Are there things you'd like to change?
For you never know how much time is left,
That can still be rearranged.


If we could just slow down enough
To consider what’s true and real,
And always try to understand
The way other people feel.


And be less quick to anger,
And show appreciation more
And love the people in our lives
Like we've never loved before.


If we treat each other with respect,
And more often wear a smile..
Remembering that this special dash
Might only last a little while.


So, when your eulogy’s being read
With your life’s actions to rehash..
Would you be proud of the things they say
About how you spent your dash?

*******

Today I went to help out some friends at Door of Hope where they give English classes to kids. Teaching them, I know this is one of the things I want to do while I still living my dash.

In the midst of all this bola fever

if you are not much of a bola person, be reminded that if you go mamak with your friends, :-

a. you might be asked to sit with your back facing the television if there's the only sit left as you don't watch.

b. people will be looking at your direction (especially if you are sitting like right under the screen) but none will be looking at you.
c. eat slowly and chew slowly cause sometimes, they might suddenly shout. Beware not to choke on your food cause people are less likely to notice also.

d. have a strong heart. :)

Enjoy being surrounded with people who talk about FIFA all the time. Afterall, it's once in every 4 years.

Lil notes is love

I forgot how lil notes/letters/simple message can do so much to cheer someone up.

Thanks for that lil note, lil sis. =) Definitely cheer me up.

Camp Cam

I've been lazy and unmotivated to blog for the longest time ever. Look at my archive and you'll see. 9 post in April, 1 in May and 1 in June so far. I used to post several post a day or every other day but now, I'm so lazy to even open my own blog. It has been a very fruitful month I would say.

Camp Cam was awesome but I still do not have time to talk about it. I would love to talk about work but I've decided not to because it's not a good take and I don't want to whine no more.

(Let me rant a lil. Work politic is complicated. Talk less, care less and work more. Do your part and don't expect too much.)

I'm missing my Chalet 8 family. Yesterday, when I was listening to the song 'Mujizat itu nyata' and 'Bapa Yang Kekal' again and again, I got brought back to Camp Cam, to the things we learn.

That day, I learn about Him and about myself in a whole new perspective, a whole new way, a whole new angle.

I miss our random-ness. Love the cool shots we took. <3

Each time I see playground and swings, I think of you all. T_T

ps: Apasal Thurston hide?

Miss our gramps

I thought it's quite nonsense to miss people you only got to know for 3 weeks. Miss also a bit only la I used to think. I used to find it funny that my CF-mates call each other mama and all since we are all around the same age. I was wrong, very wrong. I miss all of you and I think I'm used to calling Mama too!!!

Looked through my journal. Lots of things came flashing back. :) And I'm glad.

Till next happier update,

Ping Ping

Lost the passion

It happens all the time.

I feel that recently, as in this year, I kind of lost the passion to write. I feel that I don't really enjoy reading what I write sometimes and I just lost the mojo to type.

I barely update trips and outings and I barely write about anything funny. All I write are emo stuff or complain about uni or random stuff. And now that I've come back from camp for like 4 days, I should at least write something but there's just so little motivation and almost no inspiration.

Will be working from Thursday to Sunday at QB. My first proper job. I used to work under my mum which isn't really a job after all and that's all. For once I'm going to work under other people. No more whining and complaining. Just pure discipline and seriousness.

I was very motivated after listening to their motivational talk just now. I was like a small kid, who just WOW-ed at their aims, their passion, their knowledge, their professionalism *they have their own language*. Seriously, I foresee lots of learning and growing up these four days and I'm so excited about it.

Can't wait. I'm like a caterpillar, finally crawing out from my cocoon to be a butterfly. Been under the coconut shell for way too long. Time to leap out lil froggie.

Will update soon. Lots to do, so little time and so lazy me.

1 week of pure pampering

is.....fun.

Been out, shopping, marketing, exercising, eating. It's nice to go out and do not have to think about homework at home or having to study for exam.

Managed to grab a few dresses that I simply adore, some gorgeous scrunchies and other stuff I been wanting to get. Been also reading the bible as I have some reading assignments to do before Camp Cam and it's not easy. Especially since I've been going out so much.

Need to buck up. 3 more days to Camp Cam. :) Can't wait.

Just short updates as I'm a lil lazy to blog now. This blog will be rather dead till June I think. Poor blog, needs some rest.