Is love painful?

Is love painful? Well, to be frank,my own answer is yes, but wait a minute read thru this first.....something really meaningful and true.....

“The pain associated with relationships has more to do with fear, than love.”Who hasn’t experienced the pain of love? Or is itthe pain of rejection? The pain of self doubt? The pain of fear? It’s important to distinguish between love and totally separate feelings.When it comes to pain surrounding love, we’re more likely referring to the “add-ons” of love.

The love baggage, we might call it. For some reason,many people assume negative emotions are a part or element of love. But experientially we know this isn’t true.Love is not painful, it feels incredible. The pain and hurt we feel doesn’t come from love, it comes from our doubts, fears, anxiety, perceived rejections,broken trusts, anger, jealousy, envy, etc. So why do we as a culture lump all those other feelings in with love?Perhaps its because we feel these uncomfortable emotions most often in association with our love relationships.

Our primary relationships are important to us, so we assume these doubts and fears are all part of the loving experience. But is this really true?When we are fearful, angry, anxious, unhappy, or jealous, are we truly experiencing a state of love?They sure feel different, don’t they? Love feels warm, open, joyous and filled with a deep sense of appreciation.

Pain steps into a love relationship when you switch it from a “wanted relationship,”into a “needed relationship.” You don’t NEED anyone relationship. Want? Yes. Need? No.

If you go into a relationship not feeling terribly good about yourself, you’re more likely to become dependent on your partner to help you feel good about yourself. If we felt empty before they appeared in our lives, we fear the emptiness returning if they leave, so their staying with us becomes paramount. That dependency can create all kinds of fear and unhappiness when there’s a perceived threat to you staying together.If we aren’t giving ourselves the acceptance we crave, we look to those around us to provide it for us.

Again, none of this has a thing to do with the love you feel, but everything to do with the fear you feel.If you really want to remove the love baggage offear and unhappiness, the first step is to improve your self awareness and self acceptance.

this is for cheng ling bout love...its not written by me..so no...my english not that keng.. =)

Ghost in U6V1??

Last Monday, win, yl, wy and I decided to stay back in class to do our homework *konon* (but i finished the maths work =D). At about 4.30, yl and I had to go bcuz we need to settle some Mahsuri things and of course, our own stuff. So we left the class with wy and win in class. Around 4.45, wy came to join us and that leaves win in the class alone.. She sat there until 5.30 pm before she left as her mum came to fetch her at that time..

Nothing happened.. The next day, our English teacher came in and asked who stayed back? So I told her some of us stayed back till 4.45pm. She said no, after 5. Win was afraid that the teacher will scold cuz apparently, we are not suppose to stay in class before and after school so as to save electricity which was a little dumb in my opinion. Anyhow, our teacher said someone said they heard someone sang Il Divo's song in our class at 5something. That is weird bcuz according to win,no one was there except for her and she din hear anyone singing. So we kinda freaked out and thus we decided not to stay in the class alone the following day.

Today, I decided to confront the teacher to get the exact news from her. And suddenly, she said something like no, I did not say someone was singing. That was scary because all of us heard her. We are all freaked out. I told her that win stayed back and she say why didn't we tell her? I explain to her that we are not suppose to stay in class and she said that there is no one singing.

It's just that her friend came to fetch the daughter but realize that the meeting room beside our class was locked.Then her friend saw someone wearing uniform in our class and decided to ask her wat was she doing and why was she there. That girl told her that she stayed back and doing her work and the people from maths club left already. She was just trying to find out if her friend really saw a girl or something else as she thought no one would stay in class since it is kinda deserted already.

And yes, if you have read this post properly,you probably know who that girl is. She is none other than our win. =) Win didn't expect this two things have connection and therefore did not tell us about it. Still, better be safe than sorry. =)

RK House... NO PORK!!!

enjoy...a lil racist but this indian guy is cute and the chinese guys are super bad... =)

A thorn in the heart

after reading emo shan and cheng ling's blog,i realize how my blog is such a crap..itz so crappy,i dun even know wat my blog is all about..they have like draft one u noe?they write in class or when they are bored then they post up..and me?i just sit down and start typing away with no point,no aim,horrible english and waste of time..Y cant i write perfect blog like them?Mayb I shud..so ok..i shall start a new paragraph with serious topic... =) wait a minute..i am not good with serious topics..i crap a lot and i am very scared when i have to speak good english and be serious..this is freaking me out...lol..

____________________________________________________________

I am always onlining and talking to friends from all over the world and seriously, I met some very wonderful friends while some are just touch and go. Some will make me feel sad if they are unhappy or having problems while some, I don't even know what is happening to them. There are of course friends that I know in real life who is also my online friend and always ever ready to listen to me babbling away all my problems that are not problems at all. They are usually a bunch of craps that I am not satisfied about and I just wanna talk it out.

There are also friends that I know from online friends that eventually becomes my good friend and sometimes more than a good friend, a good god brother. There is this particular person that drives me crazy worrying bout him because of what is happening and his now-you-see-me-now-you-don't habit. He can appear and disappear with no reason and no explanation whatsoever. He might not know that he is driving his friends and family crazy but he really is. At times it makes people lose hope or reason to be worried as he has been always fine but somehow,the fear is still there and it makes people's mind wander about hoping that everything is just as fine as it used to be. Why can't he be a little more responsible and just make sure people know that he is fine and in the pink of health? Perhaps he thinks that we should not care so much and we should just leave him alone. But hey,i am not that kind of friend ok??the tilik nasib ppl oso say i like to care bout ppl's thing..but that's my nature and i am so not gonna change it... >:-(

_____________________________________________________

Suddenly I feel like talking about this serious love stuff. Hope you don't mind and endure with me for few more minutes. Thinking that you have feeling for someone you know and chatted with a lot is kinda normal..and at times,u might not know what you really feel.. Is it really love or is it just because it is already a routine for you to chat and share everything with him that if you fail to do it one day, you will feel that something is missing? Love is something we cannot define with words. At times you will unconciously liking someone that you never thought you would. You may write down a list of characteristics that you like in a guy just to find out that "hey, actually I like dark guys instead of fair one" after you thought you met someone you like. You can change the whole list as though it doesn't matter whether he is the one or not. You may put down all those model-like features and you don't care even if out of 10,there is only 1 point that he matches because you would be thinking of that 1 point and forget the other 9. That is love. Love is blind. No one believes that love is blind until they themselves experience it. Have your friends ever cancel plans with you just because her boyfriend or his girlfriend is not in a good mood and they just wanna spend time with them? Or have your friends leave early from an event just because his girlfriend called and wanted to see him? Well, I have my fair share for this type of incidents and it became a normal thing because I might do the same if I were in their shoes.

And in reply to someone's post (I am not very sure who.), will you choose someone whom you love very much but he doesn't love you as much as you love him or will you just choose someone who loves you more than you love him? I would choose the latter. I am a selfish person that I rather be loved than loving someone. No doubt loving someone is a great feeling but I am sure being loved is a better feeling. You will get hurt if you love someone too much but you will never get hurt if you love him less. Love comes with happiness but also lots of heartache and headache. When you care for someone and he don't care less, will you still be happy? Of course to love someone and being love is a great feeling if it comes in pairs, but tell me, how many perfect love story is there in the relationships that you know of? Love can grow with time, whether it grow stronger or fades away, it still changes with time. So why not you try loving that person after you have already be together?as long as he loves u more rite? Its selfish huh? But hey,that's what I think. When I see my friend loving their boyfriends until at one point,they lose themselves, I feel that it is wrong. It is just plain wrong. Perhaps you will say I never love someone before and therefore,it appears wrong to me. But to me, I believe that if that guy is in love with you, there is no reason for him to try to change you. Of course if its for the better,its another story. But he will certainly not cut you out from your friends, stop you from doing something you like and just expect you to live with the standard he sets. If that's how he thinks, he might as well play the Sims or something whereby he can control every single thing. Besides, I feel that girls should not lose themselves just because they are in love with a guy. They must have their strong stand and decide for themselves. Even if she will get hurt from that choice, she must choose for her future, for something she thinks is more worth it. Call me weird but guys are never the 1st priority in my life. My list goes from family, studies,future,friends and lastly guys. And again, you shall argue with me base on my never-love-a-guy-before experience. =)

Grandmother's Story...

lol..itz really bout my grandma lar....keke...

one day,my aunt brought my grandma go indian market*keh leng ngah ban san-in hokkien*...then my aunt stopped at the roadside to fetch my grandma since she cant walk to the car..old d..kenot walk far...so my aunt asked her to masuk quickly cuz behind ppl waiting d...then ppl started honking..so my grandma slammed the door shut...and she summore go tengok the flowers okay???then my aunt tot she masuk kereta d...so she drove off lar...my ah ma stand there looking blur and shocked...my aunt talked to her all the way back but of course,nobody answered...my aunt tot she was angry or something and continued driving..my aunt has this habit of not using the mirror..most of my family members have the same habit..they juz drive and ignore everyone around them..and start cursing when things got a lil out of control..lolx..i not yet drive,so i am stil ok..lol..so yea..when she reached home,she realized that she din fetch my grandma!!!! in the end,my grandma took a cab home...wat a scary way to lose a grandma... =) so love ur grandma and double check b4 u drive away... =) and if someone is not replying u,try to turn around to have a look when u r at the traffic light or something... =)

Kia su

call me greedy,kia su or wateva u want for all i care...but i am memohoning 3 biasiswa...juz in case i din get one,i still hv two others..hehe...jom the place mar...lolx..three from three different teachers...hope i can get lar..then i will b richer and i can probably treat u guys some ice-cream someday...rite??hehe....wish me luck...

Plan gagal

well..i am supposed to go to play badminton with the bentengs today but bcuz everyone is busy and noone is free to send me,i ended up changing into my house clothes... once again,i wore the go out baju then only they tell me that i hv to forget the plan as no one is free to fetch me..at this moment,i hate myself for not able to drive myself there..at times i really feel that i am not important..but then again,i cant expect ppl to hang around and wait to fetch me go wherever i want...but they seem to have plans even if i tell them i wanna go out days earlier..sometimes i feel that their fren are more important than i am...but i am not angry at them..juz hate myself for being useless and a total dependant freak..i seriously need to drive...

this is not the 1st time i got ready to go out but only to be told that i have to cancel my plan due to transportation problems..take benteng's outing as example...last week, bentengs are suppose to hang out at chong nam but i couldn't make it cuz my aunt was quite late and by the time i reach there,they would've left..so i changed into my pyjamas after waiting for an hour plus...another time was when i wanna go c the artiste in prangin mall..it was a saturday..that day was the worst..cuz pao told me she can fetch me so i changed at 1 something and waited for her till 4 something...i did not blame her cuz she had plans with her frenz and she has transport to go so there is no reason for her to change her plans bcuz of me..so it comes down to me being useless for not pretty enuf to have a bf and not smart enuf to drive..furthermore my mum was busy shopping and no one can fetch me..i was rather sad bcuz of that as i really wanted to attend the 8tv tour mall..thank god i made it the next day though i was late as well...again bcuz mum went to fetch che from airport..

mayb the only person who is at wrong is me as i couldn't drive..and also me for being sick at the wrong time and heal at the wrong time..bcuz when i was sick,they were pretty free..and now that i am ok,no one is free to b at home anymore..i am usually at home alone or with my grandma who is another kesian one..at times i feel that everyone has their live except for both of us...ah win alwiz say i very "hong so" bcuz i go out almost every weekend..but she din know that if i dun go out now,after pao goes back,i have no chance to do that anymore..mum alwiz go out alone and come back late at nite esp when pao is not around..and che is never early from home..it sux to b at home and juz stare at the comp or tv...but i am not gonna complain bcuz at least i am still alive to be bored... =)