I was standing in the middle of the foyer. I can see uni students walking about, talking with friends, entering their class or leaving their class. They all seemed to be so happy. So belonged.
There I was, standing amongst the crowd. It almost feel unreal. It almost feel like I am in a different time frame altogether. Like the movie Secret. It feels that way. Like no one realises my existence and no one cares whether I exist or not.
I guess I'm too used to having a gang of friends with me that when I am finally alone, I feel lost, I feel abandoned, I feel lonely. I had a lonely lunch at Cafe Mahasiswa today and it felt right. I hate that feeling. The feeling of being alone but it just seemed right. Like that's me. And I hate it. I have always known I am not a loner. I can be a lone ranger, but I hate to be a lone ranger. That I can do things on my own but I want people around at times.
It's already week 14 and I'm still like this. It has been almost 4 months since I entered this uni but everything seemed so new, so alien to me. Why do I think so much? I don't know. But I know I am missing them.
it makes us cherish our times with our friends even more
ReplyDeleteerm...its like dat 1...when we r new to tat place...like last time when i was in melaka..for 1st few months..i was a loner and had my lunch alone at cafeteria..den..after few months..only got my own gang..ahaha..den after dat only eat in 1 whole big group..ahaha..when go in there..whole cafeteria full wif our noises..hehe..=)
ReplyDeleteah ping...its like that...cannot blame anything...when we first enter the college or uni....everything seems to be new and we are like so alone...but then as time past, we will get close to one another....maybe by sem 2, u will get use to ur coursemates and then u all can go party together...hang out and things like that....i was like u when i first enter TAR...and my biggest barrier is Mandarin....sem 1 was really hard....when i come to sem 2...everyone understands me and they try to cope with me...and thats the time we had lunch and outings together...ehehee....so sem 2 will be a better sem for u....remember...u are not alone...u still have us, emmoez...supporting u in everything u do...cheers girl...
ReplyDeleteu very lonely meh? got halim HAHAHAHHAHAHAHAH WTFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFF his last supper HHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHA
ReplyDeleteweiwei: why u so mean????so bad la u...
ReplyDeletePing, don't make me start sobbing and long for your 'matured thinking' and the time when I ask you 'adult questions' that came popping in my mind. Haha...I always think you are specialin a way I can't describe. Oops...I idolise you? Errr...
ReplyDelete