Love is NOT just a feeling

I was having casual chats with the boyfriend in the car one day. I chat a lot =P

Me: Bii, will you still love me like 5 years from now?
Him: Why? Of course I'll still love you 5 years from now.
Me: How about 10?
Him: YES!! Why you like to ask questions like this?
Me: No, just wondering cause many people got married and then divorce. So I'm worried la. What if one day you realize you got no feelings for me anymore.
Him: I told you many times already. Love is not about feelings. Cause feelings can change. But love is a commitment. The day I asked you to be my girlfriend, I've committed myself to you.
Me: What if got one hot girl comes along, very kind and don't simply tickle or whack you? Will you fall for her?
Him: I will not even let her try to come near me. I will let her know that I'm attached and will stay attached and she can go talk to other guys.


And I believe that's what keeps a marriage together, don't you think so? I mean I know feelings change (otherwise why would I ask him the question right?) But time and time again, he reminds me that yes, feelings can change, if you allow it to change. If you allow someone to walk into your life, and show you the flowers and butterflies and all the sweet things in life, feelings will definitely change. Like it or not. Love takes effort. Love is commitment, love is an ongoing project. The moment you tell yourself I don't have to work for and in my relationship, that is the day love slowly fades. Love is constantly letting your other half know that you care and you are in this together. It is not a battle between two.

Love is not happy days every day. Love is not smooth sailing with flowers and chocolate. Love has its down days. It is how you pick it up. How you avoid feelings from changing?

1. NEVER let anybody come into your life to tell you that love can be chocolate and flowers and honey and bees. Of course unless your boyfriend or husband whacks the crap out of you and NEVER show any love la. Cause 10 years down the road, if you keep the same mindset, feelings will still change.

2. ALWAYS work on your relationship, on your problems. We talk, we cry, we fight, we throw things. And then we say sorry and we make up. If you don't fight and you keep everything inside, IT WILL EXPLODE.

3. Marriage is not the end of a relationship, it's the beginning of another phase of your relationship.

4. ALWAYS keep it fresh. Do new things together. Go new places together. Be interested with one another's life.

5. NEVER say I give up until you actually try! Cause without trying, there's nothing to give up.

6. Marriage is not just a document, a paper you signed. Marriage is a promise. That you are in this together. That no matter what happens in the future, you will not face it alone. That you commit yourself to work on this marriage till the day you die.


That's really just my opinion. Although I'm not married yet, I believe in setting the heart and the mind right. Otherwise why waste time quarreling with someone and sharing with someone when it's going to end up with a lost feeling anyway.


ps: of course I know what the boyfriend will answer but I ask him all the time =P